Zayne McCall

August 19th 2025

I wanted to use this space take a look at some of the resources that are out there for new kinksters to learn from, that are made by members of the Kink community and give you an idea of what’s available. What sources I used in the beginning of my Kink journey, and what to look for in your own research in order to ensure that the information you find on your own is credible, safe, and a proper reflection of the Kink community as a whole. 

First, let’s take a look at some of the resources I have found throughout my Kink journey. I have broken up these sources by type and give an explanation as to why I like/recommend each source. 

  • Books: The new topping book: by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy, The New Bottoming book: by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy, S&M 101: by Jay Wiseman, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The romance and sexual sorcery of Sadomasochism: by Philip Miller and Molly Devon

While there are plenty of others that I could put in this section, I chose these books for a few reasons. The first of these reasons are that all four of these books are tried and true recommendations that have been used by many in the past, The New Topping/Bottoming books are actually second editions of the original written in 1994. S&M 101 is also on its second edition and was updated based on the evolution of the BDSM community post appearance of the internet and took its impact into account in the second edition. The second reason and the main reason I am recommending all of these books is because they are some of the most effective written sources in the BDSM that cover more than just theory, while still acknowledging the limitations that come from book knowledge compared to real world experience. For example Screw roses has an entire section on tips for making your own play equipment, which is something that I have found hard to find in other sources that are available outside of real life classes. 

Second, let’s look at video sources that are available online, the two I recommend here are, 

  • Extreme Restraints University: /https://www.xruniversity.com/. The only of these free resources that is 100% free to access, it is a database of videos made by Aiden Starr and Ian Rath demonstrating various topics and includes video demonstrations as well as descriptions on topics ranging from Impact Play to D/S dynamics and many more. They also have a podcast version of the show for people to listen to while on the go.
  • The Second of my recommendations for video sources is Kink Academy. https://www.kinkacademy.com/. With a library of  over two thousand plus Videos and articles by over one hundred-forty plus different community experts including Lee Harrington, Jay Wiseman, and Mollena Williams, there is plenty of things to learn. Sadly there is a paywall here but with both one time payment and subscription options available the amount of information available is well worth the cost. They also have a podcast available for free for on the go info.

So what makes these sources worthy of mention when there is an abundance of information out there just like them? For me when looking for a source, there are a few things that I look for to help me determine how trustworthy a source is. When it comes to non academic sources though the first thing I look at is personal participation in the Kink/BDSM community, can I find evidence that points to these people being someone who is a respected and active member of the Kink community? Second, Can I find multiple places where a person/source is referenced in regard to useful sources? Remember for the majority of Kink history word of mouth was the biggest way in which people shared and spread information, so the more people I can find that recommend a source the more likely I am to believe that a source is trustworthy. Lastly, just like being able to tell when someone is not right for you in regards to choosing a partner, the same can be used when looking for sources. Remember Kink Is customizable and what works for you might not be a good fit for someone else. At the end of the day the biggest rule of Kink is making sure that every one involved is informed, consents, and does not intentionally do harm to another person.